taleya | (no subject)

Tired, upset and about four thousand percent done with everyone and everything.

look guys I'm sure it's great for you to use me as your fucking emergency shit-splosion go to plan, fuck about, make it better, and then piss off but it's not fun for me. It actually costs me a great deal to do this shit.

And I've actually hit the point where I just *can't* any more, ok? I don't have the fucking resources any more. And I don't think this is just a temporary situation, where I've overjudged and overspent my spoons.

I just. I just don't have the fucking spoons any more. And I won't ever again. and I can't keep pretending I do and I can't keep wasting them - and this is what it is. Wasting. I'm expending time and resources to the point where I can't even function properly in my day to day life and this shit is going to stop. Right now.

So be aware. I'm not everyone's go to guy. If you haven't spoken to me, socialised with me, can't be bothered speaking to me, but think you can just waltz up when you are in crisis.

I can't.
I just can't ok.
I fucking can't.

and I know it's a bastard thing and I'm a cunt for doing it and I hate myself, I fucking hate myself but I just physically cannot do this any more.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are NOT a cunt for refusing to be every random person's emotional rubbish bin! It's not productive to your own mental health to let others pile their shit on you Just Because, especially if they won't allow you to turn tables on them. You need to care for yourself, and drawing limits to how much emotional baggage you're willing to deal with is OKAY.

I can offer an e-hug, if that helps. But people should understand that you have to take care of your own needs first. And if what you need is less to deal with, that's understandable, too.

Edited 2013-02-02 04:36 (UTC)

Sometimes drawing the line is the hardest part. Caring for your and yours is your first priority. Everyone else can figure out how to set their own selves on fire.

I don't see anything unreasonable about that. Boundaries are good. Define them and if people don't like it, tough...

Jesus, you are NOT a cunt for saying this! I've had to say it to people to and have zero regrets about it. There is only so much shit you can deal with in RL before everyone else's makes it a fucking chore just to even wake up/ function.

You have to make a stand for your own sanity sweetie, so do it and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

Self-preservation is not an optional extra - it's a necessity. *hugs*

Everyone said it better than me. You need to take care of yourself first. I know you want to help others and are generous with your time, but this ineqaulity isn't healthy.

All I can offer from here is many many eHugs™. I'm sorry I haven't been around much. Life has taken a turn for the Fucking Psychotic, and I've kinda retreated a bit. Plus I kinda sold my car, so road trips to visit the 'Leya are a bit...out right now...

Still think of you guys though...

Stuff you in a postpak and send you down here!

I wish :(

Now that I've sold the car, I should have more free income, so hopefully I can grab a flight down in the off-season or something. Just gotta build up enough holidays to actually make it worth my while...