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Yup, I'm done
Feb. 5th, 2012 02:39 pmBeen putting up with some bad shit IRL and more excessive shit on the internet at the same time. Which resulted in me going "fuck this shit" and walking away from everything for about a week. And I'm not talking, as some people have been intimating a "hissy fit". I'm talking full on waking up screaming in the middle of the night to the effect that ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
torasin has been scared the fuck out of his wits, and actually working myself into a state where I've been physically ill. (And no mum, I am not fucking pregnant.)
Most of that was RL shit (and some of it unpleasantly rising up from other works and methodoligy of my writing - oh! *hand to wrist* How I suffer for my art! ~ but the internet stuff has been the icing on the cake. And it also did not help that the sole messages I have received after what was a rather public meltdown have been people looking for things from me. Or dismissive little passive aggressive whines.
No. Just fucking. No.
Enough.
Done a lot of taking stock. And I'm tired of being the one to hold shit together so you know what? I'm not doing it any more. Piff on that.
Lot of things removed from flist, lot of people blocked on AIM/MSN/Etc. And I really, really can't feel bad about this.
For one of the first times in my life, I'm putting myself first. Because I actually have worth, god dammit. And the fuckers trying to take that away from me? I have no time nor inclination towards charitability for you.
This is not a flounce post. I will do what the hell I want. And still kick around, and enjoy myself. But I'm not playing the goddamn firewall to everyone's problems and mental illness that makes them think that random shit on the internet gives them the right to abuse me.
Last time this shit got to this level, it ended up with some fucker getting hold of my personal details via an ISP breach and actually calling my house. I ended up fucking off the net for about ten years. I was younger, stupider, and a lot less sure back then. This time I'm not letting myself be chased away. I'm shutting the door in your face and laughing and making rude gestures.
I am not anyone's bitch. I don't belong to anyone but my husband, and seeing as I own him too, I'm quite all right with that.
torasin has been scared the fuck out of his wits, and actually working myself into a state where I've been physically ill. (And no mum, I am not fucking pregnant.)Most of that was RL shit (and some of it unpleasantly rising up from other works and methodoligy of my writing - oh! *hand to wrist* How I suffer for my art! ~ but the internet stuff has been the icing on the cake. And it also did not help that the sole messages I have received after what was a rather public meltdown have been people looking for things from me. Or dismissive little passive aggressive whines.
No. Just fucking. No.
Enough.
Done a lot of taking stock. And I'm tired of being the one to hold shit together so you know what? I'm not doing it any more. Piff on that.
Lot of things removed from flist, lot of people blocked on AIM/MSN/Etc. And I really, really can't feel bad about this.
For one of the first times in my life, I'm putting myself first. Because I actually have worth, god dammit. And the fuckers trying to take that away from me? I have no time nor inclination towards charitability for you.
This is not a flounce post. I will do what the hell I want. And still kick around, and enjoy myself. But I'm not playing the goddamn firewall to everyone's problems and mental illness that makes them think that random shit on the internet gives them the right to abuse me.
Last time this shit got to this level, it ended up with some fucker getting hold of my personal details via an ISP breach and actually calling my house. I ended up fucking off the net for about ten years. I was younger, stupider, and a lot less sure back then. This time I'm not letting myself be chased away. I'm shutting the door in your face and laughing and making rude gestures.
I am not anyone's bitch. I don't belong to anyone but my husband, and seeing as I own him too, I'm quite all right with that.
