Footprints...

[taleya]

Hmmmm.....

Sorting out fridge stuffs...and it made me realise something...I've not really been overly materialistic. I mean, I do have some stuff, but most of it tends to be based on the idea of need, or convenience rather than want. Yes, sometimes my definitions of need get pretty fuckin' broad (eg: I needed to build enigma. Did I need a TB of disk space? If I didn't want to spend hours fucking diving through CDs I damn well did)

Yes, I know, looking at the pics of the office, you're probably sniggering. But if it all blew up or disappeared tomorrow, would I be upset? Ok, if it blew up, I'd probably swear a great deal. But if the world changed in a single, shattering instant, if it all became useless and non-functional, would I miss it? Honestly? No.

But now...I'm starting to leave footprints on the world. Permanency, I suppose would be the word for it, and even that doesn't quite fit. I still don't really care overmuch, but I'm somehow driven to make things a little...firmer. I'm buying a fridge of my own, rather than making do with the bar fridge (this has the added bonus as it's cheap now and torasinand I can cross pretty much the last item off our whitegoods list for when we get our own place)

This is waffling, and I don't care. It's one of those hard to pin thoughts. Rather than sort of drifting along quite happily in the shadows and making little impact I'm starting to press more on the world. Little footprints.

I don't eat that much junk food. (Coke is an exception and that's damn near life blood :P) I don't own fancy clothing. I basically refuse to have my purchases dictated by those with no real say in my life. And it's not even as blunt as that, I'm not going counterculture. I'm just...me. I don't drive a car (I can, but don't) and don't really want one. Why bother? And don't get me started on credit - you start spending things you don't have and you're in for a world of hurt. I don't own an instant cooker, fry your chicken in 32 seconds BAM drain the fat straight into your gob unit...why the hell? What's the point?

I suppose that's the question really, and the real answer to how come I don't put on weight, how come I'm not in debt, how come how come how come you've avoided these pitfalls everyone's rabbiting on about?

Because everything that causes them I've looked at and gone what's the point?

Am I deep? Or as shallow and piss-filled as a kiddies paddlin' pool? Am I afraid of making an impact? I've thought on that one, and...no. Hmm. Odd. I freely admit that I'm a pleasure-seeking being, as my DVD collection attests...but it's an impulse that control rather well now. Probably due to the whole childhood not having much money to waste on useless shit.

eh, time's fleeting, so it doesn't really matter anyway. We all end up shadows in the hall.

*faffles off into senile incomprehensibility and goes to poke her tuna in fillo*