Good Omens Fic - Untitled
Jan. 19th, 2006 12:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taleyaUnbeta'ed, fresh off the press. Feel free to point out any glaring errors, first foray into GO fic...
Humanity shifted and turned, from days of cattle and calves and one-on-one temptations to civilisations, to cities, to seething seas of fashion and trends that could be tweaked oh-so-subtly by angelic or demonic hands to sway from one side to the other.
Of course it meant a lot of travel, but that came with the job.
The growth of the Internet had been a boon to Crowley. No more pissing about, running here to there to try and make life just that little bit harder for everyone. With a few clicks the whole world was at your fingertips, with millions of people to inveigle and irritate. And once he'd convinced a certain angel of that fact, their eternal dance of wile and thwart had boogied into cyberspace in a big way.
Whole websites were lavishly dedicated to the study of the Bible.
To the study of demonology.
To spreading the word of the Lord.
To spreading the legs of common prostitutes [1]
To sunshine and kittens and warm summer days.
To Japanese porn stars giving themselves orange juice enemas.
But the best thing – the *best* thing of all – was the human habit of forming communities. Get a group of humans together and they would automatically seek each other out, form a group and start ganging up on other groups.
Aziraphale created Fandoms. It rubbed a little towards that whole situation with the golden calf, but he consoled himself with the thought that it did bring people together with common interests and likes, forming little communities of trust.
At least until Crowley introduced Fanwanking.
Aziraphale had tried to sweeten things a little with the creation of RateMyKitten. Crowley had promptly countered with RateMyPoo.[2]
Both sides had been heavily involved with Fark.com, but the demon had to admit that its sister site TotalFark had more to do with the nicer, community side of things[3], no matter how twisted it was.
Then Aziraphale had an epiphany. He whispered into the minds of programmers, designers, and inspired a new place on the internet. One that was free to anyone to use. Where people could reach out to one another, find like minds, increase their boundaries, make new friends. An online diary where people who were slipping into despair or fear would be seen, where helping hands would reach out to halt their fall and bring them back into the light.
They called it LiveJournal.
Crowley really had a field day with that one.
1. Online pornography didn't quite have the impact he'd hoped. While strictly speaking it did inspire Lust, the bureaucracy Above had long accepted the fact that humans liked to look at other naked humans and had wasted thousands of years trying to stop them before finally acknowledging that there was really nothing they could do about it. Besides, the pornographic industry was self-defeating in the end, as it contrived to make those involved as sexless as pillars, save to fifteen year olds*
* Who were an acknowledged loss anyway
2. Aziraphale still wasn't quite sure why this page existed. While it wasn't exactly evil, per se, it was extremely unsettling. In the end he had harboured a deep suspicion that the demon had some sort of fecal fetish**
** Crowley of course had no such thing. He was merely interested in seeing how far he could push the boundaries of good taste***
***All the way, it seemed.
3. except the HA HA guy
Humanity shifted and turned, from days of cattle and calves and one-on-one temptations to civilisations, to cities, to seething seas of fashion and trends that could be tweaked oh-so-subtly by angelic or demonic hands to sway from one side to the other.
Of course it meant a lot of travel, but that came with the job.
The growth of the Internet had been a boon to Crowley. No more pissing about, running here to there to try and make life just that little bit harder for everyone. With a few clicks the whole world was at your fingertips, with millions of people to inveigle and irritate. And once he'd convinced a certain angel of that fact, their eternal dance of wile and thwart had boogied into cyberspace in a big way.
Whole websites were lavishly dedicated to the study of the Bible.
To the study of demonology.
To spreading the word of the Lord.
To spreading the legs of common prostitutes [1]
To sunshine and kittens and warm summer days.
To Japanese porn stars giving themselves orange juice enemas.
But the best thing – the *best* thing of all – was the human habit of forming communities. Get a group of humans together and they would automatically seek each other out, form a group and start ganging up on other groups.
Aziraphale created Fandoms. It rubbed a little towards that whole situation with the golden calf, but he consoled himself with the thought that it did bring people together with common interests and likes, forming little communities of trust.
At least until Crowley introduced Fanwanking.
Aziraphale had tried to sweeten things a little with the creation of RateMyKitten. Crowley had promptly countered with RateMyPoo.[2]
Both sides had been heavily involved with Fark.com, but the demon had to admit that its sister site TotalFark had more to do with the nicer, community side of things[3], no matter how twisted it was.
Then Aziraphale had an epiphany. He whispered into the minds of programmers, designers, and inspired a new place on the internet. One that was free to anyone to use. Where people could reach out to one another, find like minds, increase their boundaries, make new friends. An online diary where people who were slipping into despair or fear would be seen, where helping hands would reach out to halt their fall and bring them back into the light.
They called it LiveJournal.
Crowley really had a field day with that one.
1. Online pornography didn't quite have the impact he'd hoped. While strictly speaking it did inspire Lust, the bureaucracy Above had long accepted the fact that humans liked to look at other naked humans and had wasted thousands of years trying to stop them before finally acknowledging that there was really nothing they could do about it. Besides, the pornographic industry was self-defeating in the end, as it contrived to make those involved as sexless as pillars, save to fifteen year olds*
* Who were an acknowledged loss anyway
2. Aziraphale still wasn't quite sure why this page existed. While it wasn't exactly evil, per se, it was extremely unsettling. In the end he had harboured a deep suspicion that the demon had some sort of fecal fetish**
** Crowley of course had no such thing. He was merely interested in seeing how far he could push the boundaries of good taste***
***All the way, it seemed.
3. except the HA HA guy
