Can you be an Australian Citizen?

[taleya]

Sample questions from ol Johnny Fartknocker's "Citizenship Quiz"



01. In what year did Federation take place?
02. Which day of the year is Australia Day?
03. Who was the first Prime Minister of Australia?
04. What is the first line of Australia's national anthem?
05. What is the floral emblem of Australia?
06. What is the population of Australia?
07. In what city is the Parliament House of the Commonwealth Parliament located?
08. Who is the Queen's representative in Australia?
09. How are Members of Parliament chosen?
10. Who do Members of Parliament represent?
11. After a federal election, who forms the new government?
12. What are the colours on the Australian flag?
13. Who is the head of the Australian Government?
14. What are the three levels of government in Australia?
15. In what year did the European settlement of Australia start?
16. Serving on a jury if required is a responsibility of Australian citizenship: true or false?
17. In Australia, everyone is free to practise the religion of their choice, or practise no religion: true of false?
18. To be elected to the Commonwealth Parliament you must be an Australian citizen: true or false?
19. As an Australian citizen, I have the right to register my baby born overseas as an Australian citizen: true or false?
20. Australian citizens aged 18 years or over are required to enrol on the electoral register: true or false?



Fuck. 18/20 (12 to pass). Dammit, there goes my point :P

Seriously. The hell. What the fucking hell. Here's your new test, if you can peel yourself away from Bush's cock long enough to pay attention:

Can you speak english at a functional level for the society you will be living in? Y/N
Are you a wanker of a higher accord than most QLD'ers? Y/N
Are you aware that by becoming an Australian Citizen, you will be expected to ACT like a citizen of Australia? Y/N


You're in. Unless you answered Y to the second one, or N to the third, in which case fuck off. (it probably doesn't help that I live in Melbourne, where we mostly play nice and lack the Sydney insanity)

Mind you. i'm rather persnickity. Seriously, we have a population deficit approaching? So get a shitload of immigrants in, train 'em up (if needed), give them citizenship, and fill the hole that way. Or just export the boomers, either way it's all good. Just stop fucking eying off my womb and expect me to punch out babies for the fatherland.

Comments

[thetommydodd.livejournal.com]

6a. Name Them

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Dies laughing*

Thread over.

[scribe-of-stars.livejournal.com]

You'll forgive my ignorance, but "QLDers"...you mean people from Queensland?

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Yup. We have Queenslanders, Sydneysiders, Melbournians, Tasmanians and Sandgropers.


*runs very fast from kegzilla

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

Except if you're a queenslander, in which case anyone living south of the QLD border with NSW is referred to as a "Mexican"

T

[taleya.livejournal.com]

or in WA, in which anyone who lives on the east coast is known as a "Sydneysider," irregardless of actual state of origin

[jagwire.livejournal.com]

I think your test is much more succinct, and more effective. Although, even if you are a wanker of a lower accord than most QLDers, that still leaves a lot of room for wankery.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Eh, a little wankery is fine. It's just massive amounts of cock we can do without.

OF course this proposal involves surgically removing canberra, but sacrifices must be made....

[twitchfetish.livejournal.com]

speak for yourself with the population deficit.

We're having the opposite problem here. Mexicans (NSW and Victorians) are moving here at a rate of knots. We have an inflow of about 1200 new residents PER WEEK.

The strain on our infrastructure is insane, it's caused the level 5 (soon to be 6) water restrictions, massive traffic problems, housing issues that outstrip just about anywhere and a lot more problems.

Yeah. You want more people? you fuckin take em.

T

[taleya.livejournal.com]

It's fucking insane up there. I have the feeling there's an idiot magnet up there and someone turned it on. It's the only fucking explanation for people moving up to the biggest drought-stricken state in THE BIGGEST DROUGHT IN EUROPEAN FUCKING MEMORY.

And your govt are supreme jackarses - they haven't done shit to the infrastructure since 1972. Instead they're going "oh dear, we appear to be running out of toilet paper"

Twats.

With the population, I was referring to fucking Howards demented ideas of racial purity. Seriously, that's what it comes down to. Baby bonuses my arse, you just want more whites for when the boomers shuffle off and have no one to pay their fucking pensions.

Piss on 'em. And piss on Howard.

[nicodeimus.livejournal.com]

What are the colours on the Australian flag?
And what kinds of blood were they painted with originally?

[exegesis.livejournal.com]

I got 19, but technically 18 - I said the population is about 22 million, which the recent census confirms, while they said 21 - I say they were using out of date info.

Didn't know who the first prime minister was. *shrugs* Like I care.

Also, I answered 'true, theoretically' to 17.

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Barton was the first pm.

I actually got 19. not 18. Misread the PM one as "Australian born citizen, not Australian citizen.

Buggered if I can remember what the floral emblem is. Wattle?

[exegesis.livejournal.com]

I know it was Edward Barton - I checked my answers to make sure I got them right.

Yup, floral emblem is wattle. Some of the questions are worded very badly. It makes it unclear what exactly they are looking for sometimes - which may or may not be deliberate. *is cynical*

[taleya.livejournal.com]

your answers were wrong then. It's Edmund Barton :P

Yeah, the Governer General one is a bit off. Most people who had a whack at it were trying to name the current holder of the position.