MY SHINY *crows* I would let you touch it but I don't want your filthy little pawprints all over it
*swoons in lap* My god. My fucking god. I come in to exploding citrix and fucked up servers and goddamn calls that WON'T STOP EVEN AFTER I'VE FIXED THE FUCKING PROBLEM - HAVE YOU ACTUALLY LOOKED AT THE SERVERS RECENTLY, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SPOONFEED YOU CURRENT EVENTS, YOU INBRED TWAT?
It's only been an hour and I'm already over it. Jeeesus fucking christ
I do, but fuck me sideways I'm not really up for anything more coherent than chatting. Oh god STOP WHINING PEPOLE. STOP. FUCKING. WHINING. IT ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE. GIVE ME USEFUL DATUM OR FUCK THE HELL OFF
See, I live in a simple world, with a simple sequence of events
Problem happens You tell me I fix it - or find out further data and then proceed to fix it You go away
NOT the following:
Problem happens You wait fifteen minutes and then tell me I am halfway through city loop, and will get on it when at work You ring me again when I am on a tram approaching office. Once more I tell you I will fix it when I am at a computer. You continue to whine. I eventually stop answering my phone and leave it all to voicemail.
I get in. You belay me on way to office to whine about issue. I am awaer of issue. I'd quite like to fix issue, if for no purpose other than to get you to shut the hell up. I am however, unable to enter office due to some whingeing twat.
I commence fixing. You call again to whine further at me, complain about the issue and won't actually get OFF the fucking phone so I can continue fixing it. I explain you are delaying the very process you wish to occur, you don't get the hint and continue to whine. Usually this results in me either hanging up on you, or putting the phone down and walking off.
I fix it
You ring up AGAIN, or even worse, get someone else to ring that it is stiiiiiiiiiill broooooooooooookeeeeeeeeeeeeeen when it is not. I go down there and beat you to death with a shovel.
*snorts* Ahahaha . Dear god, what IS he doing? ohh don't worry about him, we like to feed him the occasional raw liver, keeps him quite for quite a while.
...no. And furthermore, they're not particularly fussy about their seasonings. I wouldn't rely on rolling in mud in the hopes their fastidiousness will keep them away.
Bugger and here was I thinking that if I doused myself in vinegar and lemon juice they'd just leave me alone, I know realise that I WAS JUST TENDERISING THE MEAT!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 09:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:44 pm (UTC)*swoons in lap* My god. My fucking god. I come in to exploding citrix and fucked up servers and goddamn calls that WON'T STOP EVEN AFTER I'VE FIXED THE FUCKING PROBLEM - HAVE YOU ACTUALLY LOOKED AT THE SERVERS RECENTLY, OR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SPOONFEED YOU CURRENT EVENTS, YOU INBRED TWAT?
It's only been an hour and I'm already over it. Jeeesus fucking christ
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:47 pm (UTC)*wipes hands on jeans and picks up SHINEH*
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:53 pm (UTC)*dives out third floor window*
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:55 pm (UTC)I hated days like that in work, not matter what you told them IT WAS STILL THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD AS THEY KNEW IT !
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:01 pm (UTC)Problem happens
You tell me
I fix it - or find out further data and then proceed to fix it
You go away
NOT the following:
Problem happens
You wait fifteen minutes and then tell me
I am halfway through city loop, and will get on it when at work
You ring me again when I am on a tram approaching office. Once more I tell you I will fix it when I am at a computer. You continue to whine. I eventually stop answering my phone and leave it all to voicemail.
I get in. You belay me on way to office to whine about issue. I am awaer of issue. I'd quite like to fix issue, if for no purpose other than to get you to shut the hell up. I am however, unable to enter office due to some whingeing twat.
I commence fixing. You call again to whine further at me, complain about the issue and won't actually get OFF the fucking phone so I can continue fixing it. I explain you are delaying the very process you wish to occur, you don't get the hint and continue to whine. Usually this results in me either hanging up on you, or putting the phone down and walking off.
I fix it
You ring up AGAIN, or even worse, get someone else to ring that it is stiiiiiiiiiill broooooooooooookeeeeeeeeeeeeeen when it is not. I go down there and beat you to death with a shovel.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:11 pm (UTC)Colin, Edna..Entire high school faculty, the list goes on.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:49 am (UTC)either way, yay!
T
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 03:21 pm (UTC)and yes, Austen --
Wait, Austin or Austen?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 08:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:54 pm (UTC)(and you gorgeously evil wench you, you know that never fails to crack me the almighty fuck UP!)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 10:56 pm (UTC)I would totally do it, but I'm not even sure how long that would take XD
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:07 pm (UTC)I'm so gonna post CRACK stealing your ideas *stealie steals*
"Holmes!" I ejaculated. "Whatever could have caused such a terrible injury to the countess, if not supernatural means?"
"RWAR SLASH SCREAM CHEW DRIBBLE MOAN"
no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-01 11:13 pm (UTC).
Dear god, what IS he doing? ohh don't worry about him, we like to feed him the occasional raw liver, keeps him quite for quite a while.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 12:08 am (UTC)Dellamorte, dellamore. OH GOD "I SHALL BE EATEN BY WHOMEVER I CHOOSE!"
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:34 am (UTC)ZOMBIE HAGGIS HAHAHAHAHAH
Ok that's i'm off to bed , my head just asploded.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 06:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:22 am (UTC)haaaaaaaaaalp
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:31 am (UTC)I just have the last line in my head, all snuggles and "I has a watson"
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 01:35 am (UTC)The great detective remained stubbornly intractable. "Deductive Holmes has run out of deduction," he mourned
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 06:52 am (UTC)This? this needs to be an epic story, with LONGCAT!
no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 07:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-02 09:11 pm (UTC)